Love And Attraction

Hello every one, first of all i want to tell you about the attraction and love , there is a lot of difference between love and attraction.
The major difference between love and attraction is that love is pure and it stays with one forever, where as attraction is just for the time being. In love one can never get over someone they love and in attraction with the passage of time, people forget about it. Love is a pure feeling, where you fall in love, with someone who is love of                                                              your life and you want to spend your life with that person.

Their happiness is all that matter to you and they are the most important people to you on the face of this earth. No matter how hard one tire cannot get rid of the feeling of being in life and cannot forget anything about someone they love. As far as attraction is concerned, it is basically because of the reason for liking them, either physically or mentally or maybe by personality.

Attraction is for the time being and people get over with the feeling as time moves on. And soon they are love with someone else, this is not love, love is something entirely different. It is a feeling which does not reduce with time but it increases as time move up. The story of love is different and many have not understood it but yet fall for it.

Love is loving the person for all they are and attraction is only loving how the person looks. Though sometimes attractions come before love.

HOW TO FALL IN LOVE???

Te Quiero, Te Amo, Me Gusta Mucha, Je t'aime à la folie, Mujhe apse mohabbat hai...with a thousand different ways to say I love you, do you really know how to fall in love?? To begin with, there is no formula for falling in love with someone. No emotion is strategical, which is why love just happens; unknowingly and unintentionally. I am assuming that since you are looking for how to fall in love again or in love (for the first time!), you are pretty much a commitment phobe. And if you aren't, my assumption then is that you are just here to read what I have to say!

How to Fall in Love With Someone

Mechanics of Love
All of us are loved. To be loved, means to be wanted, cared for and more importantly understood. These are somewhat the construed mechanics of love. As a child, as a sibling, as a girlfriend, as a boyfriend, as a wife, as a mother or even as a father, you have felt these technical aspects of love in all relationships and they still count even if they are in the smallest measurement. Love brings euphoria, elation, lightness, bliss and a sense of completeness. So, if  love is the answer for how to be happy in life, what's stopping you?

The Fear
We humans are ingrained with an incorrigible habit of believing in Murphy's law, anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Precisely, with this dorky attitude, we miss out evident objects of affection and try to figure out ways of how to fall in love with someone. This is a place where the fear of commitment stems from.

Combating Fear of Commitment
What is commitment? It's not being stuck in shackles of someone else's whims and fancies. A commitment, is a choice you make (a voluntary decision) to be with someone you love, because the person brings out the best in you. Simple?! If being with your husband, boyfriend or girlfriend, is going to bring out the best in you, then, technically, it DOES work in your favor. By the same virtue, you are free to make a commitment!! (I do recommend being selfish here)

Focal Point
Now that we shot dead your fear of commitment, let's focus on how to fall in love. Falling in love is about accepting the person for who they are. It is about a companionship which compliments togetherness. If you really want to be with a person (by the way 'want' is your cue), you need to focus on how this person in question, helps you to grow, intellectually and spiritually. If you can be what you are, when you are with this person, it's time you take the plunge.

The Plunge
Phew! It's time, to make it or leave it. The plunge is not some switch you've got to turn on. It the moment of truth you've got to accept about yourself, undauntedly. If you've followed the aforementioned steps, you are ready to be with the person in question. Confess your love without a shadow of a doubt or without a trace of a waver. Don't worry about being rejected or accepted. It's always about loving someone, the returns are always surplus. With this epoch making moment of your life, you would've successfully answered the Herculean question of how to fall in love.

Whether it's about how to fall in love with your husband or with anyone else, know, that if you could love yourself (all your life), you can fall in love. Love conquers all, as Viney says. Just surrender. Good luck!

ROMENTIC WAYS TO PROPOSE ("my own thoughts")

Romantic Ways to Propose:

If your girl is really the one to go in for all the mushy and romantic stuff, then a candlelit dinner is the simplest and most romantic ways to propose. You can add a personal touch to it by making a reservation in advance and getting the music group hired by the hotel, to play a list of her favorite tracks as well. The dim lights and the romantic tunes may just prove to be the right setting to pop the question. And hopefully it can definitely get you an affirmative reply! Besides if you think she would not mind the old fashioned way then you can actually go down on your knees and propose towards the end of the sumptuous meal.

The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, they say. And it can work wonders the other way round as well. Men who cook (really well!) can be a huge turn on for most women and this can prove to be an apt romantic way to propose to your ladylove. Cook a scrumptious meal and place a love note next to the candle. Dim out all the lights, fluff up the cushions, spray some fragrance in the air and pull on your best outfit! If you have the culinary skills then bake a cake and write ‘Will you marry me’ with the help of some icing tubes.

If you are really cozy with the family and friends of your sweetheart, then you can plan a surprise party for her at the weekend. Include them in the planning and surprise him/her after a hard day at work. This might just touch the right chord considering you have gone really out of the way to include his/her family and friends as well.

Are you really looking for some sensual and romantic ways to propose? This one is bound to floor him/her. What you will need are some roses and a bubble bath. You will need to prepare a scented and hot bubble bath for your special someone. Do turn off the lights and use some candles. Scatter rose petals around and over the floor. Have some of these on his/her bed as well. Blindfold your partner and get him/her into the bedroom. Watch the surprise and joy unfold on the face once he/she sees this bedroom and bathroom makeover. Wait for the right moment and propose when your partner is least expecting these lines.

Does your partner love the outdoors? Plan for a nice twosome getaway at a romantic outing and pop the question at a scenic location, when he/she is least expecting. The setting would be perfect with the backdrop of nature and nothing could be more romantic then being away from the noisy city. Leave all your problems behind; you do not need any excess baggage!

It does not matter how much you spend but you can look for creative options, which the both of you can cherish forever. The bottom line is that these romantic ways of proposals should be memorable and positive enough to elicit a ‘Yes’ from him/her. Best of luck!

HOW TO STOP THE BREAK UP????

NOW the matter is How to stop the breakup??  

breaking the relation is very easy but to bound the relation is as tuff. there are some ways which we can utilise if breakup is coming to us:--

Communicate. Communication is important. If you find that when you try to communicate your feelings to your partner it always leads to an argument, try writing your feelings down. Read through what you’ve written. If you find things that are just petty problems with no real validity, eliminate them. Try to find the sources behind your words

Resist making accusations. Approach your partner calmly, without being defensive. Tell him/her the problem. Don’t be accusing or they will become defensive and yes, you will end up in an argument. If you find it’s easier to write it in a letter, then do so. Leave while they read it so you aren’t hovering over them, waiting for their reaction.

1. Refrain from insulting your partner during arguments. Fighting dirty can quickly become a habit and eventually someone will say something that the other person cannot forget, or worse, forgive.
2. Take time to tell your partner why you love him/her. Not once, but often. This can be something as small as a compliment on how they look. Your partner needs to know you appreciate them. Don’t just assume they know. Everyone likes to be reminded they are loved.
3. Be supportive and look for ways to give your partner the things they need the most. Even if they don’t tell you what they need, you can figure it out if you pay attention. Some people have a hard time telling you what they need but there are clues. If you’re not sure, ask.
4. Don’t neglect yourself. If your needs aren’t being met, find a way to let your partner know. If you are unhappy, you will eventually blame your partner. It’s much easier to let them know, in a positive way, the things you need.
5. Never try to solve a problem when you are angry. Take time to cool down. I know this can seem impossible at times but think about it. Is anything ever really solved when you are yelling at each other?
6. Set aside some time for just the two of you. If not once a week, then at least once a month. This should be quality, alone time, however you two choose to spend it. You might try arranging a specific day each week and take turns planning what you will do.
7. Discuss decisions that affect the both of you and try to find a solution that will keep you both happy. Never make an important decision that affects you both without talking to your partner.
8. Don’t Lie! Everyone lies occasionally. It’s in our nature. This isn’t an excuse to lie to your partner. Every time you are caught in a lie, a little more trust is taken away. A healthy relationship requires trust. Never ever lie about things important to the relationship. You’re better off facing the music if you’ve done something wrong then being caught in a lie.

BREAK UP??? why it happens???

BREAK UP:   Now the matter is about BREAKUP.. WATS breakup? when it occurred between couple? break up nothing just a big issue of small fight not fight actually love fight between couples. A relationship breakup, often referred to simply as a breakup, is the termination of a usually intimate relationship by any means other than bereavement. The act is commonly termed a dump in slang when it is initiated by one partner.

Rationale

Several psychological models have been proposed to explain the process of a relationship breakup. One theory, by L. Lee,^[1] proposes that there are five stages leading ultimately up to a breakup.

1. Dissatisfaction — one or both partners grow dissatisfied with the relationship.
2. Exposure — both partners mutually become aware of the problems in the relationship.
3. Negotiation — both partners attempt to negotiate a solution to problems.
4. Resolution and transformation — both partners apply the yield of their negotiation.
5. Termination — proposed resolution fails to rectify issues and no further solutions are accepted or applied.

The Emotions of Grief After A Breakup

Grief counselor and breakup  that the emotions of grief after a breakup are essentially the same as those as any grief process. Her research reflects that of Beverley Raphael who likened the process of grief as "phases" rather than "stages."Viney writes that the phases of breakup grief are "Shock and Disbelief", "Review and Painful Relinquishment", and "Reorganization, Integration, and Acceptance". Any of these three phases may be skipped, repeated, or rearranged, depending on one's situation and personality.

Reasons Why Breakup Happen and How to Fix it

There are many reasons why breakups happen. You need to make a choice to do something about it and try to fix it before it becomes permanent. Breakups are known as a situation where life can be permanently altered thus making them very hard to handle. 

The feelings of loneliness and pain can cripple anyone. The worse thing about it is that you probably feel if you seen it coming, you might have been able to avert it. You may start looking at the situations on the reasons that could have caused the breakup. Though you may find those problems, you may realize that it’s too late to stop the initial breakup. Even if this is the case, you can still fix them and try to win your partner back.

First reason why break up happen: Do not show or being too overly loving. For many men, anything resembles the word love after an intimate time together sends them running for the hills. While many women find it sweet, men find it a nightmare. It’s called “pressing the gas way too fast”

Here are some reasons why men run away from their suffocating women:

One type is the overly needy, clingy type that resembles the helpless but love-struck girl; the second type is the controlling, very demanding devil-incarnate who wants to command your every thought.

For guys, neither one is good to deal with and usually sends them ducking for cover. If you have either one of these attitudes, it is best to work on them and hold back these behaviors. Try not to be overly demanding or threatening and give the man some slack. While some men don’t mind a woman who is challenging, others dread it.

(2)  Second reason why break up happen:  Try to keep the relationship from getting boring. When a relationship first begins, the joy of being in love is there. However, over time, you both can take each other for granted and you and your other half just go through the motions of the relationship with a lack of feeling. It’s tragic when a relationship dies out because no one decided to keep it from going sour. Even if the newness wears off, you both should always love to be with one another.

If you notice the relationship in trouble from this sort of problem, you can fix it. First, try to remember what brought you both together. Second, find similar interests and do those together. Love is always there. You both just need to rediscover it.

(3)  Lastly, common reason why break up happen:  Cheating on the person you are with is the single biggest reason people breakup. There’s no reason for cheating. If you don’t love the person you are with, then just don’t be with them. If you do cheat, it makes you a dirt-bag for doing such a thing. It’s frightening to know that both men and women are having a difficult time being faithful to the one they supposedly love. Cheating breaks apart any relationship.

 

MY STORY

MY PERSONAL STORY

HI guys and gals,, i am viney, and i m going to tell you about my love story.. where is will there is a way... that's true.. i realized it in my own life. first of all i am telling you that i am a very simple boy and always want a simple partner who loves me cares me... and finally i got her in my life.. do u know how i got her....yes my friend lives in front of my home ,, one day i went to a marriage with my parents there i met a gal who was hesitating to talk . then i tried to talk her, she was full of shame as indian religious gal. . then she accepted me as her friend, then i asked the matter  , she told me That she feels very alone because there is no body to understand her.. i promised her to keep her secure, . then i started talking to her. i and  she begun to talk to me, we became good friends. she lives very far from me still i always thought for her,she thinks for me.then slowly slowly i feel some special in my heart but i feared how i tell her,,, luck by chance she too felt same as i . then with a great heart i told her then she remains quite then said she likes me.. really THERE WAS TEARS IN MY EYES AND MY HEART BEATING VERY FASTLY.then slowly slowly this relation became more effective and strong,, my life style totally changed with her. i became very happy,, and she too happy in my happiness. now with god's blessing we have passed a lot of time with each other,, there are many drawbacks in me like loose tempered,doubter,etc but still she loves me that's only a true love and still i did not give a single touch to her because we love each others by heart not with physically, that's my little love story if waheguru wants then we shall-be married soon...

"HOW TO GET TRUE LOVE IN HUGE WORLD??"

This is a huge world and we may suffer from many conditions while we are going to search our true love. many people we will meet daily some of them will be liked by us , some of them will be attracted by us, and some times we think that we are of one's only. but in actually ,,, true love is not this.. every body supports us if our days are good.. every one calibrate with us  but only one who supports us while we feel alone in the world ,, when we think no body with us..still we feel that god sends some one to touch and read our heart . in that conditions, when that any person even a stranger ,comes out to help us and save us from bad time,,,, that will be only called "TRUE LOVE".

HOW TO BELIEVE ON TRUE LOVE:

I’ve realized that one of my main goals is to find a worthwhile and long term relationship. I noticed you have entries on how to keep a relationship and on how to end a relationship so would you consider writing an entry on what you perceive to be the best way to find a worthwhile relationship. How to avoid making the same mistakes, overcoming fears, keeping up motivation after failure etc.”

Regardless of our culture, our level of education or economic status, at the depth of all of us are the same desires- to love, to be loved, and to be happy.

Of course we could add other desires to this list, like money and wealth and fancy things, but when you drill into these things, the reason for wanting them is so that we can appear more desirable, and will hopefully be loved and accepted.

If love is something so fundamentally important to us, then why is it that we have so many issues and misunderstandings in the area of finding it? I think the answer is simple, that most of us have never been educated in this fundamental area of our development. Chances are, you didn’t grow up with parents who were relationship experts, and we certainly didn’t study relationships in our high school curriculums. For most of us, it’s been an adventure in trial and error and learning through pain and heart-break. But is there an easier way?

In light of Valentine’s Day approaching this week, I am going to touch on one of my favorite topics of all time: finding love.

 

"HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE REALLY IN LOVE"

AM I IN LOVE??   It is a very common question, "How can I tell I'm in love?", but it is not an easy question to answer. What feels like love to one person may be nothing more than attraction to another. Some people fall in and out of love quickly and often while others are never really in love as much as they are in lust. This can get confusing when you are a teen because romantic love is a relatively new concept for you and you don't know what to expect. You are overwhelmed with all sorts of new feelings and social pressures. They are confusing. What is love? What makes you want a romantic relationship with one person and not another? How does your heart choose a partner? Why does love end? These questions can't be easily answered.

One of the most confusing quasi-love feelings is lust. Lust is a very powerful, very intense feeling of physical attraction toward another person. Lust is mainly sexual in nature - the attraction is superficial based on instant chemistry rather than genuine caring. Usually we lust after people we do not know well, people we still feel comfortable fantasizing about. It is very common for people to confuse lust for love. But why? What is it about lust and love that make them so easy to mix up? If lust is all about sex, how can a relationship without sex be about lust? Teens struggle with this because they see lust in the Biblical sense, but lust isn't that sinister. Lust is about physical attraction and acting ONLY on physical attraction. Love is about much more than that. Yet many teens (and to be fair, many adults) confuse an intense attraction for some sort if divine love. For teens, since feelings of attraction are still new and since pop-culture sells sex and love as one package, it is very easy to get the two mixed up.

There is no easy way to find the truth behind your feelings or the feelings of another person but there are some tell-tale signs that love is blooming (or growing deeper). If you agree with 7 of the following 9 statements you are probably in love.

1. You know, because you have been told by your significant other, that your deep feelings are returned in kind.
2. The object of your affections makes you feel special and good about yourself.
3. If/when you feel jealous it is always fleeting; you trust your partner not to betray you or hurt your relationship.
4. Nothing makes you feel as serene as when you and your partner are together.
5. When you fight with your partner you usually make up within a few hours and you always agree that nothing is more important than you both being able to express your true feelings (even if they sometimes cause conflict).
6. Your partner never asks you to choose between him/her and your loyalties to your family and friends - if you do choose him/her over them you always have a good reason and it is always YOUR decision, and your decision alone.
7. Neither you or your partner feel the need to test the other's loyalties or feelings.
8. You are more yourself when with your partner than you are with anybody else.

HOW WE FALL IN LOVE MAGIC???

How to fall in love or may be its doubt:--

As i described about the love in my last blog,, now matter is that how we fall in love ?? some body say tat "ITS ALL TALK NONSENSE: becoz they are bold as well as rude so we cant understand them about the purity of LOVE,. when we see every body we think just"HOW THE PERSON HE/SHE IS??? " IS HE TRUE?? IS THERE ANY PAST OF HIM/HER?? and extra.. becoz then we don't know more about that person,, so we confuse in every step of understanding,  slowly slowly while we know more about that person then our interset increases more and more,, we become open with her/him. then we own give a name to that relation called"FRIENDSHIP".. this is just a formal name to show others that we are not strangers.. when we are in problems then we firstly tell to our friend, we think that he/she is close to us . the one day ,,, we feel some special in our heart some more attractive some more closest. then we think that "WE FALL IN LOVE".

Love and Stress

Love and stress have a complex relationship. Stress can either induce people to seek out others or to isolate themselves. When people are under moderate stress, they search for comforting, pleasurable experiences. Such experiences may include food, sex, touch, and bonding with other people. The levels of stress must be manageable, however, for people to seek out other people. Under extreme stress, social relationships are more likely to break down than to be built.

When we are under stress, our bodies release cortisol. In people who have just fallen in love, the levels of cortisol in their blood tend to be higher. Cortisol, in turn, triggers the release of Oxycontin and vasopressin.

The Mystery Maintained

I've heard some people say that knowing the biologic basis of love removes its mystery and thus its magic. To them, I say, "Take heart." This article can only provide a small taste of what we know about the complexity of a brain in love. There is also still much about love and the human brain that we have yet to discover. Learning about the biology of love reminds me that there's still a whole lot more mystery, and much of it is encased in the few pounds of neurons I carry around each day.

LOVE" A GREAT POWER IN THE WORLD"

"LOVE" WATS love?? if you know then put your hand on your heart and close your eye, then the first face you will see ,, that is only the one whom you most love... it means "LOVE" is internal feeling that feel a person for others,, it may be of any kinds like if we love our parents then there is a "FEELING" in our heart for then we cant live without them,, they are our

strength as well as weakness.. similarly if we feel some thing for any gal or guy ,, we say that we are in love, but in actual that is only the attraction of face gesture and posture.. more about it , i will tell some other session..

Can you guess the Type of Love?

• Think about the other person all the time
• not long lasting
• physical attraction
• see only the person's good qualities
• intrigued by some fascinating quality of the person
• your world revolves around the person
• you don't know the person very well
• excited when you see the person
• being love-struck
• heart rate increases
• sweaty palms
• think you're in love
• talk about the person all the time
• want to be with the person all the time
• a crush
• Love is an emotion that nearly everyone has experienced at some time in their life. One would think that with such a familiar concept, researchers would agree on what constitutes love and how to measure it. That has not been the case. Most research on love is based on a prior theoretical conceptualizations. It's quite possible that if a researcher starts out by defining love and then develops a measure to quantify that conceptualization, the results would tend to reflect this process.