Monday, June 7, 2010

BREAK UP??? why it happens???

BREAK UP:   Now the matter is about BREAKUP.. WATS breakup? when it occurred between couple? break up nothing just a big issue of small fight not fight actually love fight between couples. A relationship breakup, often referred to simply as a breakup, is the termination of a usually intimate relationship by any means other than bereavement. The act is commonly termed a dump in slang when it is initiated by one partner.


Rationale

Several psychological models have been proposed to explain the process of a relationship breakup. One theory, by L. Lee,[1] proposes that there are five stages leading ultimately up to a breakup.
  1. Dissatisfactionone or both partners grow dissatisfied with the relationship.
  2. Exposure both partners mutually become aware of the problems in the relationship.
  3. Negotiation — both partners attempt to negotiate a solution to problems.
  4. Resolution and transformation — both partners apply the yield of their negotiation.
  5. Termination — proposed resolution fails to rectify issues and no further solutions are accepted or applied.

The Emotions of Grief After A Breakup

Grief counselor and breakup  that the emotions of grief after a breakup are essentially the same as those as any grief process. Her research reflects that of Beverley Raphael who likened the process of grief as "phases" rather than "stages."Viney writes that the phases of breakup grief are "Shock and Disbelief", "Review and Painful Relinquishment", and "Reorganization, Integration, and Acceptance". Any of these three phases may be skipped, repeated, or rearranged, depending on one's situation and personality.


Reasons Why Breakup Happen and How to Fix it

There are many reasons why breakups happen. You need to make a choice to do something about it and try to fix it before it becomes permanent. Breakups are known as a situation where life can be permanently altered thus making them very hard to handle. 

The feelings of loneliness and pain can cripple anyone. The worse thing about it is that you probably feel if you seen it coming, you might have been able to avert it. You may start looking at the situations on the reasons that could have caused the breakup. Though you may find those problems, you may realize that it’s too late to stop the initial breakup. Even if this is the case, you can still fix them and try to win your partner back.


First reason why break up happen: Do not show or being too overly loving. For many men, anything resembles the word love after an intimate time together sends them running for the hills. While many women find it sweet, men find it a nightmare. It’s called “pressing the gas way too fast”
Here are some reasons why men run away from their suffocating women:
One type is the overly needy, clingy type that resembles the helpless but love-struck girl; the second type is the controlling, very demanding devil-incarnate who wants to command your every thought.
For guys, neither one is good to deal with and usually sends them ducking for cover. If you have either one of these attitudes, it is best to work on them and hold back these behaviors. Try not to be overly demanding or threatening and give the man some slack. While some men don’t mind a woman who is challenging, others dread it.
(2)  Second reason why break up happen:  Try to keep the relationship from getting boring. When a relationship first begins, the joy of being in love is there. However, over time, you both can take each other for granted and you and your other half just go through the motions of the relationship with a lack of feeling. It’s tragic when a relationship dies out because no one decided to keep it from going sour. Even if the newness wears off, you both should always love to be with one another.
If you notice the relationship in trouble from this sort of problem, you can fix it. First, try to remember what brought you both together. Second, find similar interests and do those together. Love is always there. You both just need to rediscover it.
(3)  Lastly, common reason why break up happen:  Cheating on the person you are with is the single biggest reason people breakup. There’s no reason for cheating. If you don’t love the person you are with, then just don’t be with them. If you do cheat, it makes you a dirt-bag for doing such a thing. It’s frightening to know that both men and women are having a difficult time being faithful to the one they supposedly love. Cheating breaks apart any relationship.



 

1 comment:

  1. Whenever we relate to others intentionally and responsibly, each relationship, despite of outcome, gives us greater insight and teachings that contribute to the wisdom, empathy, and love
    we have to bring to all our future relationships. The gifts on this highway are copious and amazing. They include: courage, assurance, mind's eye and compassion and patience a lot.
    And there may be a time when it may be appropriate and necessary to call for a waiver. When you've done your best, you kept your focus on doing your own work instead of worrying about how your partner is doing; when you have learned the lessons that your relationships have provided you, and when continuing to make the effort leaves you feeling diminished and exhausted rather than inspired, it might be time to consider the alternative. Doing it at this point is not a question of "quitting" but rather letting go of the hopes and desires you had of the relationship and allowing yourself to celebrate the rich experiences you shared and suffer the loss.

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